May 11, 2013

Happy four months! I can't believe how fast time has gone by, and I'm sure that will be the story of my life. You are such a little doll. You really have this wonderful personality - so sweet and happy. Your disposition is so pleasant and people love being around you. 

You've really done a lot this month. You found your voice and it's the cutest thing I've ever heard. The way you move your tiny mouth is adorable and I love watching you and listening to you. You also learned how to roll over all the time. You enjoy doing it, but don't like being on your stomach, so that makes the whole rolling over thing not as much fun as you probably imagined it would be. 

Your hair just keeps getting longer and longer. Pretty soon, I'm going to actually have to do something with it. For now, I just love the way it feels and how it lays down on your neck when we wash it during bath time.

You are a very active little girl - always on the go or kicking those legs. I hope you take your time learning how to crawl because I have a feeling you'll be across the house in no time. 

I love being your mommy and I'm so excited to celebrate Mother's Day with you tomorrow. Thanks for being such a good girl for me and making me so proud. 

I love you to the moon and back.

 

Easter and Dedication pictures

 Easter - 3/31/13

Love her surprised look 

Shy girl playing with her dress

Our little family

Nola's dedication at church - 4/7/13

Beautiful and delicious cake made by our friend and co-worker

Clothes from Ghana

Not long ago, I received a message to expect a package in the mail very soon. I had no idea what to expect, but the package arrived a few days ago and I couldn't wait to open it. I literally ran inside and threw everything else down so that I could get to the contents of the packing envelope. 

The package was from my friend Caitlin, who currently lives in Africa. I met Caitlin at my current job and immediately loved her. She's a spunky, caring, smart, beautiful, young gal with a zest for life (and makeup). A few months after meeting her, she was accepted into the Peace Corps and would be leaving to live in Ghana for two years. I was sad to see her go, but happy she was getting this wonderful experience. We've kept in touch, thanks to technology, and we often send her care packages full of funny photos, junk food and treats she can't get over there.  

She posts the best pictures of her own African clothes that she helps put together - all the way from picking out the fabric to designing every detail. So, when I opened the package, I couldn't believe my eyes. I literally looked closely at each piece as I took it out. Touching the fabric, thinking about her putting these things together herself and imagining what my little girl is going to look like wearing them. I filled with pride and my eyes filled with tears. How very thoughtful of her to do something like this for us. To think of Nola and take the time to do this. I was overwhelmed and of course, I love the clothes. More importantly, I love the meaning behind them. 

Thank you so much Caitlin. You have no idea how special this is. 

I couldn't get the picture turned the right way, but this is everything

This dress is pleated and oh, so girly. I love the orange!

This little pantsuit is adorable and I plan on using the top as a dress while she's little

Beautiful black and white photos

April 11, 2013

Dear Nola,

You are 3 months old today. You continue to amaze us and make us smile every day. You are such a happy baby and such a joy to be around. You really only get fussy when it’s time to nap during the day. I think you fight it because you don’t realize how awesome sleep is yet, also because you don’t want to miss anything fun. If you are fussy and we want you to calm down, daddy found the go-to move that you love. It calms you down every time.

You are still tall and skinny – always in the lower percentile for weight and higher for length, but the doctor says everything looks great.  

I love your smiles, your little giggles, all those tiny baby noises, your raised eyebrow and all the funny expressions you make. You are still a good sleeper and I’m still ever so grateful for that.

I’ve had to go back to work, which means I’m missing you throughout the day. However, we have been very fortunate with your babysitter and I know you’re getting loved on even when I’m not around. I love the pictures she sends me throughout the day and I look forward to seeing your sweet face in person every evening throughout the week.

Thanks for being awesome. I love you little girl.

I thought I got it

I thought I got it. I had been an aunt for over a decade and really loved that role. I adore my niece and nephews all so very much. I babysat, went to every birthday party and spent as much time with them as I could (even while living away at college or in Arkansas). I’ve watched all of my closest friends become mommies and see how their schedules and priorities changed. So, when I was pregnant and people would say things like “it’s just different” when describing their new lives or “you just change,” I thought I understood. I thought I got it. But, I didn’t. You can’t truly GET IT until you are a parent. And there’s nothing anyone could have said to me to make me understand. 

When you see your baby for the first time, you start to get it. You realize your life will never be the same. You are in love with this little being whom you’ve just met. This person is a piece of you living outside of your body. As time goes on, you understand even more. You think you can’t possibly love anyone more than your child at this moment. Then, that little baby does something that makes you proud….it can be something simple like smile, or roll over, or hold their head up…and just when you thought you couldn’t love anyone any more, you do.

Being a parent changes you. It changes everything, including your most important relationships. 

Dell and I have a really great marriage. Those of you that know me know that I'm not bragging. For those of you that don't know me as well, you'll have to trust me. I've had the other side of that coin too, which is probably why I know and appreciate how great I have it now. But, before Nola arrived, I didn't realize I could love Dell more than I did. When he says he wants to do housework to allow me to focus my time and attention on Nola, or he helps change diapers without complaining, or even when I see him smile at his little girl, just beaming with pride...it makes me feel overwhelmed with happiness. This is my family. It's pretty great.  

Having a baby has also made my relationship with God even stronger. I enjoy reading the bible to Nola every night and praying for her. And I really recognize the importance of showing her God’s love as she gets older. 

I was in the car the other day and heard this gospel song that really struck me. It says something like this:

You loved me through my good and through my bad. 

You keep on loving me.You never stop. 

Through every mistake, every issue…you could’ve given up, but instead you lift me up. You keep on teaching me.

You gave your life for me. Who else would’ve done that?  

It made me realize that His love truly is like a father. Only a parent could love you like this. Only a parent would remain committed to you no matter how many times you hurt them or how often you ignore them. Only a parent could continue to lift you up every time you fall, teach you everything they possibly can and give their life for you to find happiness. Other relationships may not last in those circumstances. It would be easy to walk away. But, not for parents. It's unconditional love in the truest sense of the word. Recognizing His love in that context was a beautiful thing for me to see.

My relationship with myself is also different. In an instant, somehow my life became both more and less important. I would give myself up in a moment to save her, but I also want to be here to be the best mother and watch her grow up to accomplish her dreams. I am a different person today than I was last year. I'm more than I ever thought I could be and I'm proud of myself. 

So, while I understand what it's like to be a parent now, I realize I'm still very new at this. And I'm sure there will be lots of surprises down the road. But, I'm forever grateful to get this feeling today. 

March 11, 2013

Dear Nola, 

Happy two month birthday! Another month down in the books and it's been a fun one. We've really worked on your schedule and I'm ever so grateful Nighttime Nola has taken a rest and let mommy sleep at night. You've really done a good job with everything and you make me proud every day. 

This month I've really enjoyed my time with you. You change so much all the time, so I'm trying to take in every moment and enjoy it before I have to go back to work. We spend a lot of time listening to music. I'll sing to you while we're dancing in the living room and you laugh at me. You've really come into your own this month and we're starting to see more of your personality. I love your big grin and how you just look up at your painting from daddy every time we change your diaper. I do hope you grow up with an appreciation for art of all kinds. 

You do okay for bath time sometimes, but for the most part I think you still don't understand it. In the evenings your belly seems to get a bit upset and you get fussy about that. But, you are a happy baby and that makes me really happy too. You seem content, which means I'm doing something right. 

You are really great at holding up your head, playing on your activity mat and you're just a good baby. We are blessed to have you in our lives. Love you so much sweet girl.