Thursday, June 14, 2012

March 14, 2012

I hate buying tampons instead of pregnancy tests. It gets so old. Month after month.  I think part of it’s mental too. For the past two months I knew my tampon supply was running low. But, I refused to buy more because I kept telling myself I wouldn’t need them next month when I got pregnant. This month I finally had to break down and buy more tampons. 

I finally lost it with my sister and told her how I was truly feeling. There has been a lot going on lately. For one, last year we got a huge return on our taxes and this year not much changed for us in the way of status, but for some reason we ended up having to pay. That was a disappointment. In addition, we found a house we really like, but may not be able to afford with the money required for a down payment, closing costs, etc.

I am discouraged. And I do not feel well. I’m also discouraged that I’m still not pregnant. I realized I won’t have a baby this year now. It’s March and I’m still not pregnant, so that rules out any 2011 deliveries.

I turn 30 next month, which hasn’t bothered me at all. Until now. Every month when I start, I get discouraged and in a funk. It’s like a state of depression for a few days. And it gets old. I wonder if I need to do something about this. I feel like I don’t know what to do. When do I try something else? And, what is the something else to try?

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