Dear friends,

                                                                                                                          

Thanks for accepting the invite to be a part of this journey with me. Many of you may not know that I have been struggling with infertility for about a year now. I have felt the need to share and become more open about my situation for quite some time. And I’ve just now become comfortable (well, maybe I’m still a little uneasy about the whole situation) with the idea of talking about this in such an open forum. So, I’m starting small in hopes that it will help me to acknowledge where I’m at and be honest about the situation. I consider myself a very open person, but this part of my life seems easier to keep hidden away. I fully acknowledge the fact that I have not been good about talking about this with my friends and I can’t continue down that path. Having said that, I think it’s important to get into the rules of the blog. 

This blog is meant to be a way for me to share this part of myself with you all. And, this blog will hopefully open the dialogue between us about my situation. If nothing else, you can at least be aware of what I’m going through and hopefully learn something about infertility. I want to educate others about the truth and emotions behind infertility. I will be sharing my story with you through actual journal entries from the past year. I will not censor what I wrote because I want this to be raw, brutally honest and real. In the same token, I would ask that you not censor yourself or place judgment at any time. Please feel free to comment on the page, email me directly or talk to me about anything you read. I don’t want this to be a one-way street and I look forward to hearing from you all. 

This blog is NOT intended to make you feel sorry for me or be sad for reading it. If you find yourself feeling sorry for me or treating me any differently, I will probably stop writing. I do not mean to change any of the relationships we have or be any different than the girl you know. If the blog is not providing you with anything positive and you want to stop reading it, I’m completely fine with that too. This is a bit of a test for me as well. Hopefully we can all gain something from this…sharing together, commenting, growing, etc. As I stated in my email, I think it will be therapeutic for me and I look forward to seeing where it takes me. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I will provide everyone with a quick summary of our story to date before going into the details of the actual journal entries. When you read the entries, please be sure to check the dates, as I will go in order of events and work my way up to present day. I will also state that I am not currently pregnant, but could be at any time. Well, technically, not for another 10 days at least (yes, you’ll read all about counting days soon). But the point is that things can always change and I always want to be honest about my situation, even when being honest isn’t fun.

If you’re wondering why I would decide to share now, I’ll tell you I don’t have a clear answer. It just seems as if the time is right. Part of the reason is that I have a friend going through infertility right now as well. She started a blog and it’s amazing. I find myself looking forward to her next entry every day.  I’ll be sharing some of her posts on here as well (with her permission, of course). But, I asked her if she was glad she started blogging about it and she said yes because it has helped her in many ways. When you are going through a situation like this, you are looking for help and hope around every corner. So, if this provides that to me and anyone else, it will be a success in my eyes. 

I read this quote today and it made me really think about my situation.

“Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important.” - Carl Jung

Infertility can be extremely lonely because those who are suffering don’t often share the struggle with other people. We aren’t communicating what is important to us. This thing that is consuming our thoughts and such a huge part of us isn’t talked about. And it can be very difficult. So, I don’t want to feel lonely any longer and I’ve decided to share my journey with you. 

Thanks for coming along. Enjoy!