Monday, January 30, 2012

Our story

Dell and I met while working at the Walmart home office and became fast friends. We became engaged in April of 2009 and were just enjoying being together and planning the wedding. In October of 2009, I was at a friend’s house and suddenly had to go to the bathroom. I started bleeding a lot and it was not time for my period. I had cramps like I had never experienced before and sat on the toilet and cried for a good 20 minutes as chunks of blood kept coming out of me. This was not normal, nor did I have any idea what was going on. I called my doctor and went to see him the following week. He stated that there was no real way to tell now, but that I was probably in the early stages of pregnancy and miscarried that night. Even though it was not something we were actively trying for, I found myself still saddened by the loss. Dell was very supportive and we both agreed the timing was not meant to be, so I grieved and moved on.

We had a beautiful, simple wedding in June of 2010 and honeymooned in Costa Rica that October. I should also state that my sister had struggled with infertility and tried for three years before having her first son. So, I was not oblivious to the fact that the journey might be long and isn’t easy for everyone. Dell and I talked about it a lot and decided we would see what happens, but we knew we were ready. I stopped taking birth control the last week of December in 2010. Two weeks later, we had to travel to Connecticut for work and decided to extend the trip to NYC for a short weekend getaway. We had a wonderful trip in New York and went back to Arkansas for business as usual. A couple weeks later, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I had never taken one before and didn’t feel any differently than any other day. It was just on a whim that I peed on that stick. The first test was a very faint line, so I asked Dell if he could pick up a digital test on his way home just in case. It did not take long at all for the word “pregnant” to come up on that screen. We were so incredibly excited and in complete shock that it happened so fast. The timing must have been right this time, we thought. It was perfect! We talked about naming the baby Brooklyn if it was a girl, since we got pregnant on our trip to New York. 

Without going into all of the details, we lost the baby at almost 8 weeks. After taking the necessary medically-required break from trying (and extending that period for my sanity), we started trying again over 6 months ago and still no luck. That brings you up to date, so now let’s go back to the beginning.


  1. Some of this I think I "knew" in my heart and some of it I didn't. You are so brave and strong.

  2. Audrey, I love you more than you know. It breaks my heart to read this, yet I find myself so glad TO be here "listening" and pouring my love on you. Thank you for opening your heart, you brave, strong woman.

  3. Miscarraiges are tough. It is hard to explain the loss and devastation you feel.

  4. Thanks for saying I'm strong and brave...though I don't always feel that way, I do think this will help.
    Amy, miscarriages are tough. And to hear they are common doesn't help the feelings either.

  5. Audrey I had no idea I wish I would have, you know after Brittany was born I tried and tried but no luck so I finally gave up and what do you know 7 years later came a Mallory then 2 years later a Gracie and then 8 years later the twins so now 3 girls 2 boys and the tubes are tied the point is cuz never give up, I love you all