February 2012

I read something online that I really related to. If you want something, put your mind into it and work hard and you can get it. This has worked for me many times before. I’ve been successful in school and work. When I want something, I work for it. Seems simple and it’s something we’ve heard all of our lives – effort in, results out. But, when you feel like you are failing at something that you can’t control, it’s tough. I can’t work any harder at getting pregnant. So the power you feel when you are in control of your success is taken away from you. I can’t make it happen. This particular post said “Giving up control is the hardest part of infertility. If only it was as easy as putting forth extra effort.” I couldn’t agree more. But, we had a lesson last night at church that hit me over the head and it ties in very nicely with the control. 

Reminder: Don’t judge God’s goodness in your life on a snapshot. Our understanding of time is not the same as God’s. God doesn’t fit into the “teacups” of our minds. 

Human beings seek clear answers or rationale to help them deal with hard questions and suffering. We assume it would be more tolerable if we could understand the “why.” Some aspects in life aren’t always clear. Don’t get caught up in the “why?” 

Trust the journey with God. We have to seek God with blind trust and without clear answers – He might withhold the answer to see if you’ll stay with Him when things aren’t clear. 

As human beings, we want to blame someone or something for things gone wrong. We need to shift that blame to grace, even when we don’t understand. 

I'm trying to learn.