I don't know who to write to anymore, so I just leave that space empty for now. One day I'll have a "Dear so and so" entry again. I cried myself to sleep last night. It was the first time I've done that since the day I found out I was losing the baby - one week ago today. Although it wasn't like the first time when I was crying so hard I could barely breathe ... it was more of a silent, still cry. I'll take that as progress! Last night I finally resolved to start talking to people again. So many people have called to check on me and I've found it's much easier to ignore the call than to answer and tell them the truth. Part of me knows they just want to hear my voice and know I'm okay. But, I also know I'm not really okay and I don't want to bother them with the sadness. But, that changes today. I need to talk to friends and I need to start having some normalcy because I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Dell has been so great through this whole thing. He is patient, concerned, supportive, helpful ... everything. Yesterday he brought me dinner and a movie I could watch today - just so thoughtful. I love him so much and know we'll be even stronger and closer because of this. For that, I am grateful.